No longer than 24 hours

I've barely been here longer than 24 hours and I'm already wishing to be back at school. Being here is so annoying!! Do you have any idea how loud it gets when there are guests at home, especially when they intentionally talk loudly. I SWEAR! Sometimes, I want to run my father through with a sword. Sometimes he drags me out in front of guests to tell them "Oh ya, she is going to be a scientist or an engineer, blah blah blah.... That's my daughter's plan for the years to come." WAIT WHAT?!?! That was supposed to be my plan? Opps. I thought that was just YOUR WAY OF TRYING TO LIVE THROUGH ME BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T BE THAT WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP! Grrr..... Sorry but I don't want to do what you want. It's MY LIFE and I want to do what I want to do.... but I can't say that to him otherwise my head gets chopped off. Do you have any clue how annoying it is to live with a filter over every action, sound, word that comes out of you even when you sleep because you don't want to die by his hands? Trust me, I hate it!

My mom's been great too. "Hey, did your skin get darker? Why the heck did you do that?" As if I can change my skin color whenever I want to just to please her. Grr... Or she'll say stuff like, "Your hair looks funny. You're eating too much." WELL if you want me to eat less then DON'T MAKE THAT MUCH FOOD AND PUT IT ON MY PLATE WOMAN! Grrr...

I can't stand my sisters at times to. Usually I can be content with Prithu but yea... this vacation it's getting harder to like Ashu and keep my self from beating her to death. Their voices, especially Ashita's, in an Indian accent kills my ears and makes me cringe. They slip into that accent so easily. One second it's English, then it's English with an Indian accent, then it's oriya and then it's hindi and then so on and so forth. I CAN'T STAND IT SOMETIMES!! I can't stand it when they scream all the time too!! I have had a constant headache!! It is so much easier to get sick at home too since I am under constant stress and usually am trying to keep myself from exploding! I try to write it out but my parents try to stop me from doing that. Nowadays I can't wait for the sound of the engine to fade away letting me know that they left!

Oh ya! I repel technology too! WTF! Nothing works around me except for my CD player and that things is ancient. Grrr.... My mom doesn't use her Vaio laptop and could lend it to me since I would actually put all that space and everything else to good use but NOOOOO! Oh ya. My dad finally got my external CD drive for my laptop for me. At least he says he does. Oh yea, the good part.... I can't take it to school because he doesn't want me to lose it. WELL WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT THEN?!?!?! I don't have any use for it at home! My netbook with the little space it has is dying while my hard drive is hardly any use!

I want to go back to school and go live with my big brother for the rest of the vacation, even though I know I can't. I feel like crying lots cuz I'm so mad and because I'm so trapped here. It's prison, HELL! The flying, free feeling I had on the plane before I got here seems so far away even though it was only yesterday. I feel weighed down to the ground and like giving up but I'm going to do my hardest not to yet. I miss people and wish I was with people who actually care about me and let me be myself and not some robot who is on display for their pride...