Confused

My mind is in muddled mass
It gets worse as the days pass
I live in silence not knowing what to say
Only speaking when needed during the day

Constantly tears prick the edges of my eyes
My head bows as I walk to try and hide
Concerned questions are constantly asked
I give a small smile and put on an act

At times I feel as though there are two of me
Fighting with each other to look out and see
Each wants a chance to conduct away
With them swapping, my mood will sway

Neither of them gets very long to stay
I wish that I could find the middle way
Somehow help them come to a compromise
Not waste away as time flies

Nightmare during the Day

I am forcefully jerked out of my sleep
Still it is not the regular alarm beep
My pillow is jerked out from under me
I try to grab it still unable to see

Then down come your fists onto my back
Each blow comes down with a crack
My back becomes bruised and sore
I cry as you do more and more

The more I cry the stronger the blows
As it continues I start to leak including my nose
The bed becomes wet with tears
No longer a comfort, but a places of fears

I long and wish to curl up and hide
But with this plan you do not abide
You take away thing precious to me
They are for blackmail and bribery

Can’t you see that I’m scared
I only respond better if you cared
But now I see the truth in front of me
The nightmare is same outside and in my dream

My Big Brother

I was lost and wandering alone
My steps unsure into the unknown
Dark mist clouded my mind
My feet stumbled as if I was blind

Then there was a tap on my shoulder
Soft at first and then bolder
I spun around terrified and saw him there
His eyes turned soft with care

He tilted his head to the right
Confused at my fright
He frowned as he gazed
Until I calmed and my cheeks were ablaze

At this he smiled
I trusted him in just a while
He held out his hands
He as no boy, who from this were banned

Hesitant, I took my first stride
Second I stumbled and cried
His arms caught me and held me close
Tears ran down; he poked my nose

In his arms I found comfort
There was no judgment or hurt
He wasn’t perfect, but I liked that better
I decided to call him my big brother

Tortured Soul

The more I try to fight
The more you bind me tight
Your chains around me keep me bound
Unable to move, even along the ground

You keep me locked down below
Guarded with a poisoned arrow
Your ways to tame me became cruel
More and more as in confidence you grew

My spirit grows weaker and weaker
Your fists come down upon me stronger
My back is aching and sore
Hot tears fall down onto the floor

My will to live fades away
Your blows decrease my days
My soul is tortured enough
It wishes to fly away

Imprisoned Alone

Your words are false and hold no love
You say them as though empty words are enough
Your chains around me rattle and groan
You may say it but you don’t love me at all

When I was little, unaware
These shackles ‘round me made me feel safe and calm
Now they keep me locked and imprisoned
For nothing more than a revolting displays

You wish for a perfect picture
I cannot give that to you since it is not me
You tried to create a ‘perfect’ me
That is not who I am and will never be

Now I lay here so feeble and frail
Under the shadow of your powerful form
My feeble attempts to thwart your fist
They are no good against your powerful blows

Tears are all what fill my darkened eyes
Your anger is all that you offer to me
My cries are drowned by your dreadful laugh
I shiver as you close the door
You’ll be back, once more

Never Ending Nightmares

The days turn into sleepless nights
There is no break from the living nightmare
Fear presides in the hearts of Christians
Loud screams fill the smoke infested air

There’s no safety for anyone
The homes meant for refuge torn and burnt down
Churches meant for prayer burnt to the ground
Create fear in innocent children’s eyes

Always the need to stay quiet
The need to stay hidden from oppressors
The fear of being betrayed or killed
There is no end to the wrong doings

The terror of watching loved ones die
Knowing any moment there could be death
Fear of knowing that your name is on a list
That the next minute could be the last

Is there no one that will listen
To the cries of the oppressed ones
Voices join together in a plea
A desperate plea for salvation